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This was meant to be a performance piece. But, well 2020 happened. There’s nowhere to perform…

I don’t write poetry

As you can see

All that ‘Iambic Pentameter’

Just isn’t for me

I did. For my degree

Write a poem or three

But now I don’t write poetry

Can’t get my head round rhyme

And splitting ideas

Across lines wastes my time

I prefer to write prose, free flowing and loose. I break up my sentences. To short. Sharp. Fragments. To make my reader. Breathless. To show pace. 

Or I write long, detailed, sentences, with lots of sub clauses, so that the reader has to concentrate, or to slow down the pace, to hide the murderer’s identity in a clause so complex the reader has forgotten by the time they get to the end, and has to read to the reveal. 

I can start a new paragraph with a new idea, not just when I’ve hit the beat. 

Then another one. Which jars, because it’s incomplete.

No I don’t write poetry

As you can see

Well, maybe the odd Haiku

Cos I understand

Five syllables, then 

Seven in the second line

Five more to complete. 

© Chris Johnson 2020. 

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It’s a warm late summer’s evening. I have maybe three hours of daylight left after work. There’s a beautiful cloudless sky and the world is bathed in sunlight. The Peak District is outside my door. I have to do it. I wheel my partner for the evening, my Suzuki Bandit, out of the garage and pat the tank. She’s dusty, but tonight she isn’t going to get cleaned. We have a different plan. She starts first push of the starter. She’s as ready as I am to enjoy the ride. Ten minutes for her to warm up, and for me to don helmet and gloves, and we’re on our way.

I ride carefully amongst the traffic until I’m clear of the commuters. I know where their heads are at because usually I would be one of them. Tired, distracted by tea time radio news or loud music. Thinking more about their day at work, getting home, that night’s television, an argument they’ve had with their partner or boss. In fact thinking about almost anything more than they are thinking about driving. They can be erratic. Virtually blind. Driving on auto pilot.

Soon, though, all of that is behind me and I’m out in the countryside. I take my time, I have nowhere to be and no desire to get anywhere quickly. I revel in the quiet evening roads and the noise and vibration of the bike as she eats up the miles in a lazy, effortless, low rumble. For no reason other than I want to I change down a gear and open up the throttle on a long straight. She responds with a purr and a surge of speed, then equally quickly slows down and leans into the bends as if she knows where she’s going and all I’m doing is providing her with an excuse to take me there. I let her lead me for a while, taking random turns that look interesting. Turning off before I catch up with any traffic. Skirting around rather than riding through villages and towns. Finding new roads and new horizons. I enjoy the warmth of the sun in my face and keep heading vaguely west so that I can keep it there. Even so I am pleased when it hides behind a stand of trees briefly rather than shining in to my eyes.

We ride like this for nearly an hour, but my age causes aches to catch up all too soon and I recognise that I need to stretch. The next road sign points to nearby town where I can stop for a quick break before heading home. I start to ride more purposefully with the thought of a favourite coffee shop in mind. I am back on roads that I know. Long fast straights, flowing bends. I watch for lorries and tractors and try to time my riding so that the momentum takes me past them in safe overtakes rather than catching them on bends. I watch for suspicious white vans, speed traps set for the unwary. I am not travelling at illegal speeds, but sometimes to overtake safely I have to accelerate over the limit only to slow again once safely past. A quick blast on these roads and I catch my first glimpse of the town down in the valley. I slow, turn, and wind my way on to the main street. It’s quiet now, only a few late night tourists like me searching out the few open shops or heading for an early doors pint. I see plenty of parking spaces big enough for the bike but instead of pulling in I glance at the town hall clock and decide on a whim that, given I have another hour or so of daylight, I’ll turn my face back to the sun and carry on out of town. It’s one of those nights when I’m enjoying the journey more than I’d enjoy the destination, so the aches can wait.

A few miles further on I crest a hill. The sudden effect of the sun in my eyes makes me look away momentarily from the road. The views take by breath away. I stop, turn off the engine and take off my helmet so that I can breathe in the clean air. I hear the countryside properly for the first time; cows, sheep, birds and in the distance a tractor. I take fifteen minutes to enjoy the peace. I am glad I came here to stop instead of a coffee shop in the town. This is truly beautiful countryside. I am blessed to enjoy it at its quiet best. My mind wanders, aimless and free. I think of friends, holidays, of other great times in the countryside I’m riding through, of family and of stories I should write. I ponder making a note of some interesting phrases, and ideas, then am distracted by the next thought and the next and nothing gets noted, although some may be remembered.

As I watch the farm buildings in the valley begin to turn gold and their shadows lengthen. I have to accept that time really has caught up with me. I mount up again and finally turn for home. The sun low, behind me now, catches me out. I curse as I turn around and it reflects in my mirrors into my eyes. I move my head to adjust the angle, and set off again. I am riding with more purpose now, less meandering and more directly to my destination. As I reach an open stretch of road I notice that I am following my own shadow. I crest and then descend the dips in the road. My shadow shortens then lengthens. I wave to myself, first an arm then both legs. The road is empty, fortunately. Anyone seeing me would think me a fool. I laugh aloud at that thought, the sound strangely echoing inside my helmet. The road curves and my shadow is riding alongside me rather than leading the way. I open the throttle a little, but then decide to resist the all too real temptation to race my own shadow, a race that I know in my head could only lead to disaster but surely one every child on a pushbike has tried at least once. Instead I glance across to see the shapes it makes in the hedgerow and in doing so am lucky enough to see a bird of prey dive and strike, but at this speed I am gone before I see if she has taken her prey.

I take the next turning, heading downhill and into the shade. Trees overhang the road, still with their leaves at this time of year. It’s dark on this road, much darker, like entering a tunnel or the sudden onset of night. The temperature drops what feels like ten degrees. I shiver, but quickly reacclimatise. The road is narrow. It curves and bends back on itself down the steep valley side. The bike comes alive again, back in her element. She accelerates out of each bend, brakes, leans into the next one and then does it again and again as we weave down the valley side. I am wary of damp patches, mud on the road, anything that could make me skid and slide. But my bike is sure footed and she seems to steer herself around any obstacles with just a thought from me. Trusting her instincts I take in my surroundings. A brook crosses and re-crosses my route just below the road, rushing in its urgency to feed the mill ponds and the river in the valley bottom. Lush grass grows along its banks. I smell the wild garlic that grows like weeds in the un-mowed verge. That smell reminds my stomach how long it is since I last ate. My thoughts turn to food and home, only twenty minutes away. I emerge into light and turn back in to the traffic and boring busy roads. The fun is almost over, we’re like everyone else now, chasing the fading daylight in the hope of getting home before darkness and real cold descend.

I recently heard someone say that the car is a modern hermitage, a place of seclusion and thought. I beg to differ. My car has far too many distractions. I have music, radio, satellite navigation, passengers who can talk to me. It is a tool. A machine designed to do a job. A job it does well, but a job nonetheless. My hermitage is my motorcycle. Within a crash helmet I am, in a very real sense, alone with my thoughts. And when the only limit is a self-imposed time limit and therefore endlessly flexible, I have time to think. Not about work, not about the jobs I have to do at home, not about money or my problems. None of that enters my mind. I am truly de-stressed and relaxed.

People ask me why I ride a bike. This is my answer.

(C) Chris Johnson 2017 & 2020

The following is a re-post from a closed Blog.

Anyone who has been through formal education into their teens, and definitely anyone who has been through higher education, training in a work environment or any form of leadership training will have undertaken some group work. Often this is dreaded – there’ll be egos to deal with, someone who is quite happy for every one else to work as long as they get a share in the credit and someone who knows best and wants to lead the project, irrespective of what everyone else wants…

But, there are some great works that have come out of collaboration. Think about the great films, TV series and songs that have come out of writing teams. My own experience of co-authoring was very productive, leading to the novella Rose Scar. So, if you choose* to co-author and pool your experience, knowledge and skill.

 

Based on my own experience here are my ten ‘top tips’ for co-authors:

  1. Agree what you are writing (genre, style, length etc.) before agreeing to collaborate. If you don’t agree, don’t collaborate.
  2. Agree the broad outline of the piece before anyone picks up a pen.
  3. Agree up front how credit (whatever form that takes, including payment) will be split. If there are tax implications get this written down and signed.
  4. Agree what name(s) are going on the document, and in what order before anyone writes anything.
  5. Agree the roles of every team member up front.
  6. Agree the minimum contribution necessary to warrant inclusion in the credit.
  7. Agree who should actually do the writing, and hold the draft/proof document safe.
  8. No member of the writing team can also be the proof reader or editor.
  9. Disagreements should be sorted out as soon as possible, and in a professional, adult manner.
  10. If you have a choice and it’s not either fun or in some other way fulfilling, stop and withdraw.

*Items 1 and 10 effectively only work for voluntary collaborations. If you are working on assignment that requires you to collaborate and/or where the parameters are set for you then I’d suggest that 1 becomes ‘Agree the ground rules before starting’ – whether they be these or something else and 10 becomes ‘Agree in advance who the final decision maker is in case of irreconcilable differences. It is essential that this should be someone outside of the team, and preferably not the direct customer for the output.’

© Chris Johnson 2018

 

The following is a repost from a closed blog.

There are various posts that do the rounds on writers’ and artists’ sites and forums which make fun of the idea of working for ‘exposure’. They are often phrased as adverts from the artist asking for tradesmen to work for free or simply pointing out that, in no other industry, is it so common for people to be asked to work free. Largely, I agree. Before I go any further I would say that any cheeky offer, particularly to someone for whom a creative art is their main income, should be treated with the contempt it deserves. But when is an offer cheeky and when is it something that should be considered – even welcome? As a writer I, like all artists, need exposure. So would I be so wrong to dismiss such an offer out of hand?

On reflection there are probably three key things I (and other artists) should consider before turning down such an offer.

1 – How much exposure?

2 – Should I consider doing this as a favour?

3 – Is it a legitimate business to business deal?

How much exposure?

My point here is this. If a magazine with a multi thousand person readership, especially my target audience, offers me the option to publish a story, unpaid, ‘for the exposure’ of course I’m going to take it. Let’s face it, lots of writers provide free content to magazines and blogs etc. when they start out. I accept, there’s probably a cut off point when the cost of production outweighs the savings gained from getting free advertising. And I can’t tell you where that is. For example, I might work free for a start up magazine which is aimed directly at my target audience as it’s worth taking a chance on the sales that could follow. It’s getting free advertising. But I’d be less likely to do so for a random start-up with no indication that my work will get to a relevant target audience, or any audience at all.

Should I consider doing it as a favour?

Human, and business, relationships are never cut and dried. If a friend is starting up an imprint or a magazine or blog I’d be far more tempted to do them a favour than I would a random stranger. Things I do all day every day for a salary I may also do for free for a charity. Likewise, if you have a chance and the opportunity, what’s wrong with giving someone else a start? Who’s to say that the random stranger who is asking for your help now isn’t going to be the next big publisher/agent/whatever. Sometimes it’s worth playing a hunch.

Is it a legitimate business to business deal?

Ok, strictly business to business is a sales transaction, one business selling to another. But there is also the option of fair exchange. Ten hours of my work for ten hours of yours. I write the text for your website, you take my author pictures and no money changes hands. And this loops back to point one. If you are treating your art as a business, then working for exposure is a legitimate business to business transaction if the business you are delivering it to is in the business of giving exposure.

There is probably a fourth option. Do I just want to do it anyway? Most hobby artists effectively give their material away. My Blog is me giving away my work – arguably to build an audience in the hope they will buy my books in the future, but also because I want to share my creativity with the world. So, is giving my work away through another route, ‘for exposure’ any different?

My advice, therefore, is this. By all means decline offers to work ‘for exposure’ if you don’t think the person offering is genuinely able to offer the exposure they appear to be claiming to offer. But don’t decline such an offer without any thought as to the value.

© Chris Johnson 2018

In the UK there were reported to be a little over 4,600 local libraries, run by local authorities to national standards in 2002/3 (statists.com). The latest estimate I found (theguardian.com) was that in October 2017 there were 3,850 and that approximately 500 of these are now run by volunteers, rather than the local authorities and paid librarians. I’m sure these are still run to a very high standard. But they are not obliged to run to any national standard. I’ve also observed, but not found any data, that many local libraries have increasingly limited opening hours.

Why should I, or anyone, care? Ignoring the argument from academia about the use of libraries rather than the internet for research (which is a big enough subject for another post on its own) I think there are three big reasons that libraries are vitally important.

  1. They provide free (or at least free at the point of access) reading materials. I grew up going to the local library once a week and getting library books. If I didn’t have that access I doubt I would have been able to read anywhere near as widely as I have. For some the library is the only access they have to books.
  2. They are a community resource. As well as the location where books, music and these days free internet access can be found, libraries also offer some combinations of meeting rooms, social spaces, classes and courses, a warm and safe space for people to study, a place to read newspapers and magazines etc. etc.
  3. A skilled librarian (paid or volunteer) is a joy to talk with. They can help you to find a good book to read, research materials, local knowledge and a wealth of other things. Google is simply not a skilled librarian, it is a blunt tool. A Google search will find you a million hits, a librarian can often offer the one thing you actually want.

There is another reason why I, as a writer, think that libraries are massively important. I guess that everyone knows that if you buy a book from a retailer the author gets paid. What you may not know is that if you borrow a book from a library the author gets paid. We’re talking pennies a copy (7.67 pence per loan on a library book in England and Wales up to a maximum £6.600 per author according to theguardian.com). But, it’s income. By comparison, if you buy a book from a charity shop the author gets nothing. (I’m not having a go a charity shops, I buy books from them all the time. I just don’t think that people always realise that re-sold books don’t make any money for the author.)

Authors are not, generally, rolling in money. We’re not all JK Rowling. Far from it, most authors, even those published by big name companies and whose name you may know, make pennies per book sale and less than minimum wage if you divide their income by the number of hours it takes to research, write, edit and promote a book. So why not throw an author a bone. Even if you borrow a book and return it unread (not that I recommend it) the author is still getting their 7.76 pence. If you have an e-reader and subscribe to an unlimited service (such as Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited) the author is paid per page view, so the author gets a return on your loan. If you only read a few pages (or if you read offline and your reader doesn’t register the page views) the author gets less in return, but will still get something.

At the moment there seems to be far more supply of authors than there is demand for books. The economics don’t stack up. But if the good authors are not making money (or at least some return) for their efforts they’ll stop writing. If you want to keep reading quality books, but can’t or don’t want to buy full price titles from retailers, please keep supporting your library so that they can, in turn, support authors. By all means buy books from charity shops, lend them to your friends and pass them around – above all authors want to be read and build an audience – but once in a while, and as often as you can, think about feeding an author and borrow or buy a book through a route that means they get some return please?

All numbers and links in this item are for UK or England and Wales. If you want to find your local library in England and Wales go to www.gov.uk/local-library-servicesIn Scotland it’s www.scottishlibraries.organd in Northern Ireland www.librariesni.org.ukI’d love readers from other territories to add links below to their country’s library service if you have one.

I’m off to swap my library books. Please join me.

 

© Chris Johnson 2018

IMG_0046sOne of my stories was rejected this week. I got some really good feedback, and a request to submit more work to the same publisher – so I’m happy enough. But it did get me thinking. I wrote the piece with the specific publication in mind. I read a couple of their recent publications, then followed a story arc and broad plot that aligned with, rather than copied, their apparent preferred style. Essentially, I wrote to their genre. But did I write a cliché? The feedback said that the publisher didn’t want my story as the pay-off was something they’d seen before. Fair comment, and really useful to know when I either re-write that piece or write something else for them (or anyone else for that matter).

But it does re-raise a question that I’ve been asking myself for a while. I write genre fiction. Most fiction writers do (whether they like it or not). But we all want to avoid clichés (I think it’s illegal to write that without adding ‘like the plague’). Readers want the hero to complete their quest, the white hat to win, the anti-hero to both succeed and reform or the troubled detective to solve the murder. That’s genre. But when does writing genre slip into cliché or even worse, plagiarism? When does one hero become a poor imitation of another, and a third, and so on?

Very few writers set out to plagiarise others (except, perhaps, for some re-tellings of classic stories – which is probably not plagiarism…) but there are only so many broad plots, only so many ways that a small cast of characters can interact and only so many twists which actually make sense.

Here’s the question, then. How do I square the circle? How do I (or anyone else) write in genre and to house style without becoming repetitive or essentially copying what’s gone before. How do we write something new without going so far out of genre that we fall outside the requirements of the publisher and audience we’re aiming at?

I’d love to hear your thoughts – as readers, do you want to be shocked or do you want your stories to follow the usual rules of your preferred genre? And writers, do we need to be brave and break common genres? Or are we writing into ever decreasing opportunities to retell the same broad plots? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments!

 

k12050275I’m on a deadline, so of course I’m procrastinating. After all, everyone’s more creative the closer to a deadline they get, right? Today’s procrastination – the word ‘deadline’…

The word deadline. What exactly does it mean? Why deadline? Why not timeline (I know that has another meaning now, but you get the point?) Professor Google tells me that ‘deadline’ means a time or date by which something must be done. I know that, of course. It also tells me that deadline is a line drawn around a prison beyond which prisoners are liable to be shot. (http://www.dictionary.com/browse/deadline) This second definition I did not know. But it does make sense. It’s also less horrific than some of the other potential definitions I’d dreamed up for myself. (I’ll leave you to imagine those.)

What I’m not so sure about is how the word evolved from the latter (but earlier) meaning to the former. Again, according to Professor Google, the use of the word has ramped up significantly since the 1970s. Why? Are we a more deadline driven culture now? Or is it a word that’s come in to fashion (relatively) recently to replace something else that was in common usage before then? And is any of this of any use whatsoever in getting through my to do list and hitting my deadlines? (Spoiler – no, not in the slightest.)

For my creative writing friends, I think that ‘deadline’ would be an excellent single word writing prompt (take it if you want – I’d love to see what you come up with!) Once I’ve got over my own immediate deadlines (time bound, not prison related) I might have a go myself.

Oh well – back to my to do list. I have deadlines!

(c) Chris Johnson 2016

Where to set a novel or story is, for me and I suspect lots of other writers, a key decision. You wouldn’t set a western in northern England (unless you called it Jericho… but that’s probably for a different post). Readers want locations appropriate to the action, and internally consistent timelines and locations (no skipping from Edinburgh to London in five minutes unless you have already introduced technology that makes that possible…and you’re writing in a future fiction/sci fi genre).

I am also quite a visual writer. I like to have a mental picture of my characters and the locations where key bits of action take place. Even if these details aren’t shared with my reader. It just helps me to hold these in mind when I write so that I avoid inconsistency.

I am currently editing a novella for summer release. Part of the action requires my heroine to sit in a coffee shop whilst waiting for the villain of the piece to meet a confederate nearby. It is a pivotal moment in the story, as this is when the heroine first identifies the villain for certain from a range of potential characters. All ok so far? Well, yes. It’s a simple set up,  and not particularly location specific. So what’s the problem?

Well, the problem is this. I had a place in mind when I wrote the scene. And last week I happened to be in the area for the first time in a couple of years. I thought I’d take a wander past. And where there was a coffee shop (with my heroine sat just out of eyesight watching the world go by) with eyeline to the building (with my villains engaged in hurried conversation in a door way) there is now…a hole in the ground and a big sign saying ‘Crossrail’!

It probably doesn’t matter. I referred to the location in passing, but not in such specific detail that a reader would necessarily be able to find it, or frankly want to. And the location is not critical to the story so much as it is simply a place for the action to happen. It could be anywhere really. (Let’s face it, there’s a coffee shop on every street corner anyway). So it really should not matter one jot what is or is not there any more. But..I just have this horrible feeling that my inner editor is going to force me to relocate the scene to somewhere that isn’t a hole in the ground!

Does anyone else have a view on this – either as a writer or a reader? Does it matter of the locations in a novel are real, reimagined or entirely fictitious? And if they are ‘real’…does it spoil the work if the location changes and the novel becomes ‘wrong’? Leave me a comment, let me know what you think?

 

(c) Chris Johnson 2016

People who are, and/or self describe as writers and authors are regularly asked the same series of questions. ‘Have I read anything you’ve written?’ (Answer – I don’t know, let me read your mind for a moment’.) and ‘Where do you get your ideas from?’ (Answer – it depends, keeping my eyes and ears open mainly. That and Facebook.) But the one that gave me pause for thought this week was ‘Why did you publish your first book under a pen name? Are you ashamed of it?’ Forgive the cliché, but that is a really good question and one that I considered before I hit publish on Kindle Direct Publishing.

Publishing under a pen name is a well known phenomenon and (reasonably) common. George Elliot anyone? Robert Galbraith? Richard Bachman? Before anyone skips straight to the comments, I am definitely not comparing my efforts with theirs! What I’m actually saying is that if it’s good enough for them, it’s certainly good enough for me!

Assuming that you (dear reader) now accept that there is precedent, and have not switched off because this is an opinion piece not a short story (come back on Friday for one of those), let me answer the question (finally!).

I have recently published a novella, as an e-book, under a pen name. I did so for three very specific reasons:

  1. It is a genre novella. I prefer to call it pulp. It’s actually quite niche. A revenge story, with some gore and adult language. I intend to publish other work later, which will not be in the same genre or so niche. I also intend to continue writing niche/pulp/genre fiction. I don’t want my readers (assuming that I ever have any…) to be confused and pick up something which is well outside their expectations. Simple solution – write under different names.
  2. I already write, in a different field entirely, under my own name. (No, you won’t have read it, or at least it’s very unlikely unless you are a professional internal auditor or work for the same organisation I work for.) I wanted, for myself and for professional reasons, to separate the two styles of writing and content.
  3. Yes, I admit it, to some degree I am ashamed of it. Actually, not true. I’m not ashamed so much as I can foresee a time when I will be ashamed of it. This is my first attempt at a novella, and will contain plot holes and probably typos and grammatical mistakes. My defence is that it is a short, plot driven adventure story meant to be read on a train/tram/bus for fun, not a piece of literary fiction to be analysed and examined in detail. I wouldn’t recommend it to my mother’s reading group. It’s aimed at a very specific market and as yet I am still exploring whether there actually is a market!

You will notice that I haven’t told you what my pen name is…That is because this is an opinion piece not an advert for my alter-ego’s book. If you’re not interested in the advert I’d skip straight through to the final paragraph!

If you want to read the book, in the full knowledge that it is a different style and genre to most of the postings on this blog, it’s 99p/99c (or equivalent) to download from Amazon, or you can read it for free if you’re enrolled in Kindle Unlimited or from the library if you’re an Amazon Prime member. The links are UK: Amazon UK and US: Amazon US. My alter-ego also occasionally Blogs and tweets.

I’d love to know what readers who have made it this far think. Is publishing under a pen name duplicitous? Does it help readers when an author’s work in one genre is all published under the same name? Or am I simply trying to justify publishing work which I don’t want linked directly to me? (Although that ship sailed when I published this blog entry I suppose!) Leave me a comment, let me know.

Chris

 

(C) Chris Johnson 2016

I remember when this frame was new, shiny, silver plated. It had pride of place on the fireplace. My mother would take it down and polish off the nicotine and dust at least once a week. More often if someone was coming round. She bought it for her favourite picture of me. Taken at my cousin’s wedding in June 1950, I was wearing my first ever suit, a new hat, highly polished shoes. I’d been allowed to stand at the bar with the grown up men for the first time, allowed to smoke cigarettes and drink beer with them. Bitter tasting, warm and flat, it tasted like nectar to my seventeen year old self. It explains the crooked smile. My mother thought I looked grown up. I thought I looked drunk. We were both right.

My mother died in 1965. The frame went into a box. It was, lost, forgotten. No one wanted it any more. Not until one day in 1968 when my nephew, John, in bell bottom jeans and a tie-dyed shirt, found it while he was looking for inspiration for a university assignment. He wrote the assignment, passed and so kept the frame and my picture in his bedsit as a lucky charm. The room that was always full of loud music, the smell of pot, sweat and cheap beer. The silver plate got black in the thick smoke, the glass got covered with dust.

The frame moved around with John for another ten years. From his bedsit until his first divorce he kept it on display. In the early seventies cigar smoke replaced pot smoke, dinner party conversation and playing children replaced the loud music. By the late seventies his marriage had broken down and the sounds of arguments and screaming adults took over. The silver plate flaked. The picture faded. Eventually Amy issued the ultimatum and John took the easy route. He packed a bag and walked away. She dumped the rest of his belongings on the street. All but the picture frame. It sat, forgotten again, on the top shelf of a book case full of unread Dickens, Shakespeare and Chaucer along with a hundred Mills and Boone romances with broken spines and loose pages. A witness through her days of tears, sadness and endless David Soul ballads. Right through to the day when Amy started dating again. It was the new boyfriend who noticed it.

‘Hey, Amy, who’s this bloke?’

‘I don’t know. It’s one of John’s family I think. I’d forgotten it was there.’

‘He looks drunk. Shame this frame’s not real silver, it would have been worth something.’

‘It’s just a cheap thing. I’ll give it back to John.’

She put the frame face down on a telephone table in the hall. It stayed there for three months. Dark, dusty and ignored until John saw it one day when he was collecting the kids and Amy told him to take it.

John passed the frame on to his nephew, Julian. He was real eighties success story, a young millionaire trader in the city with a blonde girlfriend sharing his converted warehouse apartment. It sat on a shelf in the bathroom because Julian thought it was funny to talk to his Grandad, who told endless stories of austerity, while he was literally pissing away a fortune in overpriced champagne. During one of his parties someone thought it would be a good idea to snort cocaine off the glass. The party went on for days. The conversation fast and meaningless. The smoke as thick as it was in the sixties, the drug of choice and the price of the alcohol massively different. Then the market crashed, and so did Julian. The frame was taken from his repossessed apartment in the mid nineties and sold in a job lot to a second hand furniture dealer. Where it stayed. For two decades. It got moved from time to time. Picked up, dusted, put back somewhere new. But no one wanted to spend six pounds on a faded picture of a stranger in his first suit on his way to his first hangover in a battered frame with few patches of silver plate left.

At one of those dinner parties in the seventies one of John’s friends drunkenly joked that there was a tribe in Peru that believed that having their picture taken stole part of their soul. He found it hilarious. But it’s true. I’ve looked out from this frame for fifty five years. I’ve seen so much. And I’m ready for another change of scenery now. Please.

(c) Chris Johnson 2015